Terrifying Telephones

I purchased a new phone and wanted to understand how to do 3-way calling on it (you can’t). But that’s not the point of today’s post. This is the first page of the manual.

Probably only an HF professional interested in warnings would actually turn to page 38, and I went there straight away.

Click the image for the actual page, or continue reading just for the highlights.

1. Read and understand all instructions.

2. Unplug this product from the wall outlet and refer servicing to an authorized service facility under the following conditions:

D. If the product does not operate normally by following the operating instructions. Adjust only those controls that are covered by the operation instructions, as improper adjustment of other controls may result in damage and often requires extensive work by an authorized technician to restore the product to normal operation.

14. Avoid using a telephone(other than cordless) during an electrical storm. There is a remote risk of electric shock from lightning. (ed. this is a cordless phone)

16. Only put the handset of your telephone next to your ear when it is in normal talk mode.

(and then at the end:)

CAUTION: Use only the power adapter provided with this product. To purchase, visit our website at www.vtechphones.com

4 thoughts on “Terrifying Telephones”

  1. Wow. There are so many things I could say…but I think my favorite is #16.

    a. I don’t see what’s particularly unsafe about putting the phone next to your ear even if you’re not talking on it.
    b. …but why the heck would you do that?

  2. Ha, I like the double negatives in number 6!

    I particularly liked the “two steps in one” approach in number 9 where it says “Do not spill liquid of any kind on the product”

    Last time I checked, “Spilling” was something that happened by accident!

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